Wicked Therapy
by woodland59
Summary: Two girls have taken the challenge of sorting out the Wicked Characters' problems…Glinda's obsession with pink, Fiyero's tight white pants, Boq and his non-existent love life, Nessa's spoiledness, Morrible's horrible, the Wizard's lying issues, and Elphaba's…life in general. Will take requests on problems to deal with!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here I am with a new Wicked story! This story is me and NiaTheWickedLover being the therapists of the Wicked characters! What could possibly go wrong? Enjoy!**

In the therapists' office, the two girls scuttled around, preparing for their new and only patients: the Wicked cast.

"Is it ready yet?" asked one girl.

The other looked around. "Yup. Time to summon the characters!"

Suddenly, they all stepped out of the darkness, blinking in confusion. Elphaba stood in between Fiyero and Glinda, Nessa and Boq near them. Dorothy, Wizard, and Madame Morrible were on the other side of the room.

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," said Dorothy slowly.

"No, durr, Sherlock," said one of the girls.

"Who are you?" asked Elphaba, frowning.

"I am the fantabulous woodland59—but you can call me Madison—it is my real name, after all!"

"And I am NiaTheWickedLover—but you can call me Nia."

"Why don't you all take a seat?" said Madison.

"Uh, okay," the cast sat down.

"We have summoned you here to help you sort out your numerous problems," explained Madison.

"Problems? What problems?" asked Glinda.

"Well, for one, you've got an unhealthy obsession with pink," said Nia.

"Me?! What about _you_?"

"She's got a point, Nia," pointed out Madison. Nia was wearing a pink labcoat over a pink t-shirt and a pink skirt. Oh, and pink shoes, too.

Nia blushed. "Yeah, well—uh, look at you! You're wearing that green labcoat!"

"That can be arranged," said Madison, snapping her fingers and her labcoat transformed into a plain white one.

"Why the labcoats, anyway?" frowned Boq.

"I don't know, they really make me feel seriously about this," said Madison.

"It gives me the latter impression," said Elphaba.

"Fine! Let's take a vote: all in favor of keeping the lab coats, raise your hand!"

Nia and Madison raised their hands. The rest of the room didn't. "Well too bad, we're keeping them anyway!" said Nia.

"Okay, so anyway…Should we divide them out into groups, or do a big one?" asked Nia.

"Good point…how about I take the girls, and you take the boys?" asked Madison.

"What?! No fair, I want Elphaba and Glinda!" whined Nia.

"Too bad, I called dibs."

"No you didn't."

"Well, now I do! Dibs! Ha!"

"Well, _I_ call _double_-dibs."

"Hmmph! I call triple-dibs!"

"Uh, guys?" Dorothy said.

"Can it, Farm Brat!" yelled Nia and Madison simultaneously.

"Okay, so how about we both take the girls and hope do the boys next?" Nia suggested.

"Sounds good to me. Okay, so Elphaba, Glinda, Nessa, the farm brat, and the fish."

"Fish?!" gasped Morrible.

"Farm brat?!" shouted Dorothy.

"Yeah…in case you didn't know, we don't like you," said Madison. "Now, come on everyone. Boq, Fiyero, Wizard…stay _put_."

The girls all walked off into a private little room, leaving Fiyero, Boq, and the Wizard alone.

"So…" said the Wizard. "Who's up for charades?"

**A/N: That's the first chapter so far. Hope you enjoyed! **

**Defy Gravity!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I updated fast, lol. Here we go again…btw, a certain someone will be making a guest appearance towards the end…**

Glinda squealed upon running into the tiny office, "I get the couch!"

Everyone else sat in chairs. As Morrible sat down, Madison snapped her fingers and Morrible's chair disappeared. She fell hard on the ground, her huge bottom slamming against it. "What was that for?" asked Morrible.

"I don't like you," said Madison. She and Nia looked at the group.

Nia whistled, "Oz, we've got our work cut out for us."

"You could say that again," muttered Madison.

"Okay. Oz, we've got our work cut out for us."

"It's a figure of speech," snapped Madison.

"Well, you didn't say it sarcastically. How was I supposed to know?"

"Someone needs to get a therapist for them," Nessa muttered to Glinda, who nodded in agreement.

After the two calmed down, they looked around. "Hmm…how about…we start with you…Glinda."

"Me?"

"Yes, you," said Madison, taking out a pen and clipboard. Nia did the same thing.

"All right…what do you wanna know?"

"What's your full name?" asked Madison. She already knew, but she was required to ask this kind of thing.

"My name is Glinda Upland…but I my birth name is Galinda Upland… My parents' names are Momsie and Popsicle, and I am nineteen years old."

Madison and Nia scribbled this down quickly. "What are your interests?" asked Nia.

"Pink, makeovers, popularity, and…shopping!"

"Tell us more about this 'pink' obsession," said Madison. "When did it start?"

"I've always liked pink! It's stupendifying!"

Madison quickly scribbled down _Uses unreal words…_

"I'm not exactly sure how to handle the pink obsession, Madison," responded Nia.

"You're right. I think the main thing we should concentrate on is the makeovers, popularity, and shopping."

"Okay…So Glinda, what's with the makeovers?"

"Well…" Glinda began. "Whenever I see someone—"

"No, no! DON'T DO THE SONG!" screamed Elphaba.

"Glinda, shut up," said Madison. "So, what about the makeover business? What's your deal with that?"

"It's just…whenever I see a face, I study it and figure out what would make them perfect!"

"Wish she'd do that for her schoolwork," muttered Elphaba.

"Like…like you!" Glinda said, pointing at Madison. "You could use some make-up!"

"Ew, no! I hate make-up!"

Glinda collapsed on the ground.

"Okay, we'll deal with her later…Morrible, it's your turn."

"Stop being so horrible, fish!" yelled Nia.

"Yeah, no one mourns the horrible!" said Madison.

"Okay, so we've got a list for you on what to do to stop being horrible," Nia said, handing her a scroll. Madame Morrible undid the binding on it and the scroll tumbled down, all the way across to the end of the room.

Morrible's eyes widened as she began to read it. "Stop wearing so much make-up? But it makes me look pretty!"

Madison whistled. "You must be _pretty_ ugly."

They moved onto Nessa. "Yeah, Nessa… you're spoiled," said Nia.

"Hate to break it to ya that way, but sorry," said Madison, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I think to make it better, you should go for at least a month asking no one for anything."

"What? But that's not fair!"

"Fine, we'll make it a day."

"Phew," sighed Nessa.

"Okay, then, Dorothy…WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! YOU JUST GO AROUND THROWING BUCKETS OF WATER ON PEOPLE?! HUH? HUH?" yelled Madison.

"Whoa, calm down girl," said Nia, surprised.

Dorothy cowered. "W-Well, I-I c-couldn't do anything else—sh-she was gonna kill me!"

"It was all a part of her plan, you idiot! Aren't you smart enough to see through a plan?!"

"Okay, let's move on…uh, Elphaba, I think we're gonna have to do a private session for you, you have so many issues," said Nia.

"We should do one for Morrible, too."

"Ew, no, I don't wanna be in a room with just the fish!"

"Point taken. Morrible, just read the list."

"Thanks a lot," muttered Morrible.

They poured cold water on Glinda's head (Dorothy's specialty) and walked into the other room, Glinda sobbing about her wet dress.

Yelling came from the room.

The girls walked into the room, bewildered. "What in Oz is going on here?" gasped Madison.

Fiyero was tackling the Wizard, while Boq just sat on the couch, obviously confused. There was a strange girl next to him. "Heheh, c'mon guys, let's just settle this peacefully," she said. She waved upon seeing Madison, Nia, and the others. "Oh, hi!"

"Who are you?" asked Nia.

"Me? I'm TheWickedrae, nice to meet you!"

"What's going on here?" demanded Madison.

"See, well, I …I—er—I tried to help them, and—" Her eyes widened upon seeing Dorothy.

"FARM BRAT!" she screamed, grabbing a bucket of cold water and dumping it on her head. Before anyone could do anything, she grabbed a broomstick and flew out the window, cackling.

"Okay, I admit I'm not a Dorothy fan, but that's a little extreme," said Madison, wide-eyed.

Fiyero had stopped his assault on the Wizard to watch the girl fly into the sky. Then, he turned back to him.

"Yero," said Elphaba, grabbing his arm. "Don't do this."

"I have to, Fae! This man _claims_ to be your father!"

Elphaba gasped. "That's not true! Frex is my father!"

Madison, Nia, and Glinda twiddled their thumbs uncomfortably, rocking back and forth on their heels uneasily.

A cackle came from the back of the room. It was Morrible. "That's not true! Ever wondered why you have so much power? It's because you're a child of both worlds! Ever wondered where your mother got that bottle? It was from _him_! Your mother had an affair with his Ozship!"

Elphaba trembled violently and ran off, sobbing. Fiyero ran behind her. "Fae, wait!" he called.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it took a little while to update. I've been really fixated on my other story: She's My Daughter. Hope you enjoy the chapter! Oh, and I don't own Wicked. **

Madison and Nia sat in their comfortable hanging chairs in the office. Elphaba sat on the ground with the Wizard, Nessarose, and Fiyero. "So, yeah…we're doing a family session for you guys," said Nia awkwardly.

"Why's he here?" asked the Wizard, pointing at Fiyero.

"Durr…Fifi's family… he and Elphie are married!" squealed Madison.

Nia put a hand on her shoulder. "Now's not the time for that."

"Oh…yeah, you're right."

Nessa sniffed. "I still think Boq should be here—we're going to be engaged…"

Madison and Nia exchanged a glance. "I think we should do a session for Boq and Nessa," Madison whispered to Nia.

"And we should throw Glinda in there, too," Nia whispered back, to which Madison nodded.

"Anyways…we don't have the full family in here," Madison spoke up a little louder. She clapped her hands and suddenly Frex and Melena appeared on their own bean bag chairs.

Elphaba flinched upon seeing the man who she'd thought was her father and that had abused her, and Fiyero hugged her close. "Shh, Fae, it's okay, he won't hurt you."

"Yeah! And we can tie him up if he tries!" Nia exclaimed.

"Not helping…" Madison whispered.

Melena gasped upon seeing Elphaba. "Oh, Fabala!" she cried, giving her eldest daughter a hug. "And dear Nessa," she whispered, giving her younger daughter a hug as well.

"Who are you?" frowned Nessa.

"Nessa, I'm your mother," smiled Melena.

"Mother?" whispered Nessa. "Mother!" she cried out, wrapping her arms around her mother. "And Father, too!" she hugged Frex.

"Melena, Nessa," Frex greeted warmly.

Melena glared at Frex, "Aren't you going to say hi to Elphaba, too?"

"Oh…yes. Hello, Elphaba," said Frex awkwardly.

"Don't think I don't know what you've been doing," hissed Melena. "You've been abusing my daughter."

"I wish she wasn't my daughter," muttered Frex.

"Well, your wish is granted, then! She's not yours—she never was. I fell in love with someone else while you would leave at night—the Wizard of Oz, himself! And _that_ is who fathered Fabala! Not you!"

Frex's jaw hung open. "Melena…how could you?"

"Do you wonder why? Do you _know_ why I did it? You ignorant—"

"Whoa, whoa, hold on there!" said Madison, holding her arms out. "We've gotta keep this at K plus."

"Oh…fine. Well, let's just say it's because I never loved you. And you wonder why? I saw how you acted to anyone who didn't believe in the Unnamed God—how you acted to Elphaba whenever I wasn't looking. I only married you because it was arranged!"

"Guys!" yelled Nia. Everyone looked at her. She took a deep breath. "We need to settle this _peacefully_."

"Peacefully?" scoffed Madison. "Don't think that's possible with this bunch."

"Well, as peacefully as we can."

Madison nodded and the two clicked their pens and pulled out clipboards. "All right then…let's start with the biggest issue…Frex, why did you abuse Elphaba?"

"Because…she's _green._ She's a sin, a sin I tell you! A marking of the Unnamed God that she's wicked!"

Before anyone could say anything, Nia held up her hands. "Frex, let me explain something to you. Elphaba was born green because Melena drank a green elixir while she was pregnant with Elphaba."

"It just goes to shoe you shouldn't when pregnant! Read the signs in the bathrooms, people!" Madison chimed.

Frex had gone pale. "Elphaba…" he said, reaching out towards. "I…I had no idea. I thought…this whole time…you were a sin. But really…it was _his_ fault!" he turned to the Wizard. "His fault for giving Melena the elixir!"

The Wizard held out his hands defensively. "Hey, hey! That's not fair! Melena knew exactly how strong that stuff was, and I never knew it would make someone turn green. Heck, I didn't even know if Melena was _pregnant._"

"Yeah, well, you shoulda thought of that before you—"

"FREX!" interrupted Madison. "I already told you, we have to keep this at K+!"

"Listen," Nia said impatiently. "The point is, Wizard, Melena, you shouldn't have had an affair."

"But wait, then Elphie wouldn't've been born."

"Fine by me," said Elphaba. "Then everyone's life would be better…"

"Elphaba, that's not true!" gasped Melena.

"But it _is_! If I hadn't been born green, Father wouldn't have made you chew milkflowers, and Nessa's legs wouldn't be…the way they are, and you wouldn't be…well, dead! Glinda would still have Fiyero, and—and—" Elphaba began to sob.

Fiyero hugged her. "Fae, I wouldn't have been happy with Glinda. I wouldn't be the same without you… I'd still be brainless and I wouldn't have been able to graduate from Shiz."

"Frex, how could you plant those ideas in her head?" Melena asked, fists raised.

"All right, all right, let's all just calm down—" started Madison.

"Wait! I just remembered something!" said Nessa. "The Farm Brat never gave me back my shoes!"

**A/N: So many arguments… ****(sigh)**

**Anyways, always remember to keep calm and defy gravity!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I've been really focused on my other story, She's My Daughter. I don't own **_**Wicked**_**. Enjoy!**

"Really, Nessa? Really? With everything that's going on right now, you're concerned about SHOES?!" Nia sighed. "Madison, you were right. There is no peace with these people."

The two girls glanced around at the room. "Maybe there's a way…" Madison then screamed, "EVERYBODY, QUIET!"

The room quieted; of course…they didn't want the 13-year-old therapist to be angry with them—especially when she controlled the story. With a sigh, Madison sat back down and clicked her pen. "Okay, which problem is the most serious?" Everyone immediately pointed at Melena and Frex.

Melena was currently holding her husband by the neck, but her slim hands couldn't really do anything. "Okay then, we'll see you guys later!" said Madison, snapping her fingers and the others disappeared from the room, leaving Melena, Frex, Madison, and Nia alone.

"Uhhhh….are you sure this is a good idea?" Nia asked Madison.

"Belive me, I know what I'm doing. I've got a doctorate in this," she pulled out a doctorate.

Nia looked at it. "Why is there a tag on here that says fifteen bucks?"

Madison jerked it away. "Okay, that's enough looking!" She calmly turned to Melena. "Mrs. Thropp, would you please not strangle your husband?" she asked calmly.

Melena jerked her hands away and sat on the ground, muttering foul language under her breath.

"Mrs. Thropp, please refrain from cussing in the therapists' office," Nia said.

Madison whistled casually and shifted uncomfortably. Nia glared at her. "That includes you, too!"

"Okay, so anyways," Madison said. "Mrs. Thropp, what is the main problem you have with your husband?"

"Well," Melena bit her lip. "Probably that he abused Elphaba."

"Okay…Governor Thropp…er, former Governor Thropp… you understand that it wasn't Elphaba's fault she was green?"

"No, it was the bleepin' Wizard's fault, it was!" Frex exclaimed.

"You do realize that it wasn't _just_ the Wizard's fault? It was Melena's, too," Nia said. "She knew exactly what she was drinking—and neither of them knew the consequences would be so dire."

"Yes," sighed Frex. "I'm not mad at Elphaba, anymore."

"Or the Wizard, right?" Madison said hopefully.

"It's kinda hard to forgive the man who had an affair with your wife," pointed out Nia.

"Oh, that's true," said Madison. "But, Melena…care to less us _why_ you had an affair?"

Melena flushed a bit. "I was drunk on that green elixir."

"Yes, but you knew exactly what you were doing, didn't you?" Nia asked.

"Yes…a part of me was just so sick of everything, the arranged marriage and whatnot, I couldn't help it…I just never loved Frex, and I loved the Wizard at least more than him."

"Well, then," said Madison, copying everything down. "Governor, do you love your wife?"

"With all my heart and soul," said Frex solemnly.

"Ooh, this is gonna be hard to solve," whistled Nia.

"What?" said Frex.

"We think the only case for you two…is to get a divorce."

"What?!" shrieked Frex.

"Yes!" cried Melena.

"But…but…" Frex said.

"Think, this would solve all our issues," Melena said. "No more fighting, and we could share Nessa."

Frex looked a bit happier at that part.

"It's just…you might love me…but I don't. And marriage has to be for love, right?"

"True…" Frex sighed. "All right, Melena. We can get divorced."

Melena let out a shriek of happiness. "Whoo-whoo! Come on, honey, let's go get divorced!" She then dragged her soon to be ex-husband out of the room.

"Well, that issue's solved," Nia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now, it's time to bring in my OTP," Madison sighed. "My One True Pairing…Fiyero and Elphaba."

**Coming Next Update…Fiyero and Elphaba**


	5. (The Long-Awaited) Chapter 5

"But, wait…Elphaba and Fiyero don't have any problems, do they?" Nia frowned at Madison, staring at the fair-skinned girl with an expression of confusion plastered across her face.

"Well, no, not necessarily with just _them_," Madison said, scribbling down something on her clipboard. "But we're gonna get Glinda in here, too, for obvious reasons." She glanced down at what she'd written, a small frown crossing her features before erasing it and looking around.

"What'cha workin' on there?" Nia asked her, peering over her shoulder to see a drawing of Elphaba—anime-style. Madison blushed and tore the page away.

"I'll get Fiyero, Elphaba, and Glinda in here," she said.

Nia looked at her with an amused expression. "You do that."

Madison rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers quietly, and Fiyero, Elphaba, and Glinda appeared before her.

"Dude, you've got to stop doing that!" exclaimed Fiyero. "It gives a fellow a serious head rush!"

"Sorry, but it's so fun!" she giggled, shrinking a bit further back into her hanging chair at the enraged prince.

Fiyero sighed. It was impossible to reason with a thirteen-year-old-obsessed-Wicked-fangirl. Not to mention she could snap him all the way to South Dakota, which he was pretty sure was pretty far away…but he didn't know for sure. He didn't have a brain, after all.

He sat back in the chair, and Elphaba placed a comforting green hand over his own. He relaxed immediately, sinking further into the chair. Glinda looked as though she were trying not to cry.

"See what I mean, Nia? Glinda's obviously not over this," Madison said, gesturing to the bubble-headed blonde.

"Wh-What do you mean?" Glinda asked suspiciously.

"See? She can't even trust us because she hasn't gotten over her trust issues!" Madison exclaimed, running her fingers through her thick dirty-blonde hair. "This is gonna be harder than I thought!"

"But I didn't say anything—" Glinda started, but Madison cut her off.

"See? Denial. First sign of jealousy."

"Uh, Madison—" Nia started, blinking behind her glasses **(You wear glasses, right, Nia?).**

"NIA, WE'VE REALLY GOT OUR WORK CUT OUT FOR US HERE! THEY'VE GOT TOO MANY—" Nia covered her mouth.

"I don't think yelling's gonna help."

"Oh, right," Madison said, sitting back down. "Okay, then." She grabbed her clipboard again. "So…Glinda, Fiyero doesn't love you."

Nia looked shocked. "Madison!"

"What? It's the only way she's gonna learn," Madison shrugged.

Glinda ran out crying. "Funny, I thought she already knew," Fiyero frowned.

"I thought it was fairly obvious when he ran off with me, anyways," Elphaba said.

Madison nodded. "Yeah, but that's no reason to rub it in her face!" Nia shouted. "Listen, you stay here, I'll handle Glinda."

"Good idea, I've got no experience whatsoever with her. Elphaba can give me advice on how to handle her!"

Nia walked off. "How do you expect me to help you with that? I don't think _anyone_ gets Glinda. I hope Nia can survive without getting turned into a bubble," Elphaba said worriedly.

**A/N: Short and long overdue, I know, but at least it's an update, right?**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Nia knocked on the door of the bathroom, where she could hear Glinda's not-so-muffled sobs coming from. "Go away!" Glinda sniffled.

"Glinda, it's me," Nia said. "I'm sorry for what Madison said…she doesn't really understand how you feel."

"I said, go away!" Glinda growled from inside the bathroom.

Nia sighed. "Then you leave me no choice." She snapped her fingers and the door disappeared. Glinda glared at her, wand raised menacingly. And Nia knew she had made a mistake.

…

"So I take it the talk didn't go well," Madison was leaning back, smirking as her friend floated around in a giant pink bubble.

Nia glared. "Ya think?"

Elphaba and Fiyero were stifling laughter, and the teenager whipped around to glare at them, crossing her arms in anger. "It's not funny!" Then, she looked at the bubble and giggled, "Okay, it kind of is."

Glinda was standing at the doorway. "I'm sorry, Nia," she said, unbubbling the girl, who fell faceflat on the ground, causing everyone to laugh harder.

"Sorry, Glinda," Madison said sheepishly.

"No, it's fine. I needed to get over it."

"Yeah, and Fiyero, you should've told Glinda you liked Elphaba before running off with her."

"I know…sorry, Glin."

"Phew! Finally got that sorted out! Now…it's fine to get Nessa and Boq in here. Bye, guys," Madison snapped her fingers and they disappeared.

**Coming Next Chapter: Bessa Issues**


End file.
